Chat with us, powered by LiveChat Identify any child under 36 months who is exhibiting challenging behavior. Describe their behavior in detail. Why is the behavior challenging? Read Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers? - EssayAbode

Identify any child under 36 months who is exhibiting challenging behavior. Describe their behavior in detail. Why is the behavior challenging? Read Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers?

Identify any child under 36 months who is exhibiting challenging behavior. Describe their behavior in detail. Why is the behavior challenging? Read “Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers” by Claire Lerner & Rebecca Parlakian. Utilize the three-step process to decide the best way the parent or caregiver should respond. Describe what is the best way to respond to the challenging behavior.

  1. Describe the child’s behavior
  2. Describe why the behavior is challenging
  3. Use Step 1: Observe and Learn
  4. Use Step 2: Respond to your child based on your best understanding of the behavior
  5. Use Step 3: Help your older toddler, who is beginning to understand logic and rational thinking, learn from his actions
  6. Describe what is the best way to respond to the challenging behavior

Must be 2 pages in length, at least 6 paragraphs, 3-5 sentences per paragraph, written in APA format, and utilize the three step process stated in the article.

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PARENTING RESOURCE

Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers Feb 1, 2016

By Claire Lerner and Rebecca Parlakian

Help your child learn to manage strong emotions and reactions as they become aware of themselves as separate individuals from their parents and the other important people in their world.

It’s important is to teach your child that there are many ways to express his feelings in healthy, non-hurtful ways. (Credit: Cresta Johnson /

Shutterstock.com)

The period between 18 months and 3 years is an exciting time. Toddlers are becoming aware that

they are separate individuals from their parents and the other important people in their world.

This means that they are eager to assert themselves, communicate their likes and dislikes, and act

independently (as much as they can!). At the same time, they still have limited self-control and

are just beginning to learn important skills like waiting, sharing and turn-taking.

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Consider the following example:

Sherman, aged 2, grabbed the red bucket and began shoveling sand into it. Jojo, the previous

“owner” of the bucket, shouted: “Mine! My bucket!” When words don’t get his bucket back, Jojo

grabs for the bucket, but Sherman pulls it away and jumps out of the sand box. Jojo follows

Sherman, pushes him, grabs the bucket, and returns to the sandbox. When Sherman approaches

the sandbox once more, Jojo carefully guards his bucket, wrapping his arm around it and

watching Sherman closely. Their parents, who had seen the drama unfold, walk across the

playground and recite the “use your words” speech for what feels like the millionth time.

As toddlers are also just beginning to use words to communicate, they rely heavily on their

actions to “tell” us what they are thinking and feeling. When a toddler wants a toy, he may take

your hand, walk you to the toy shelf, and point to the one he wants, essentially “saying” with his

gestures, “Daddy, I want to play with that toy. Please get it for me.” When he is angry, frustrated,

tired or overwhelmed, he may use actions such as hitting, pushing, slapping, grabbing, kicking, or

biting to tell you: “I’m mad!” “You’re too close to me, get away!” “I’m on overdrive and need a

break.” Or “I want what what you have!”

With your support and guidance, your child will learn to manage her strong emotions and reactions over the next months and years.

Like most aspects of development, there is a wide variation among children when it comes to

acting out aggressively. Children who are intense and “big reactors” tend to have a more difficult

time managing their emotions than children who are by nature more easygoing. Big reactors rely

more heavily on using their actions to communicate their strong feelings.

As parents, one of your most important jobs is to help your toddler understand and communicate

her feelings in acceptable, nonaggressive ways. This is no small task. It requires a lot of time and

patience. But with your support and guidance, your child will learn to manage her strong

emotions and reactions over the next months and years.

What to Think About

No two children or families are alike. Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt

and apply the information and strategies below to your unique child and family:

What kinds of situations usually lead to your child acting aggressively?

Why do you think this is? When your child acts in ways that seem aggressive, how do you

typically react?

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Do you think this reaction is helpful to your child or not? Why?

What to Expect from Birth to 3

From Birth to 12 Months

Lacey, aged 11 months, wants a bite of the cookie her mother is eating. Lacey kicks her feet,

waves her arms, and makes lots of sounds. But her mother just gives her another spoonful of

squash. Lacey swings her arms and knocks the spoon out of her mother’s hand. Squash on the

wall! Lacey bangs her hands on the high chair and starts to cry.

One of the greatest challenges in dealing with aggressive behavior is that it can feel very hurtful

to parents, both emotionally and physically. When your baby yanks on your nose and won’t let

go, grabs at earrings, pulls hair, bites when breastfeeding, or bats his hand at you when you take

away a forbidden object, it is perfectly natural to feel a flash of frustration or even anger.

However, babies do not mean to hurt or upset their loved ones. They are simply exploring the

world around them through their senses. They learn how the world works by biting, mouthing,

grabbing, shaking and dropping, and swatting and seeing what happens as a result, which is

usually a pretty big reaction.

From 12 to 24 Months

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Try not to negotiate. Having consistent rules—about things like holding hands in a parking lot, sitting in a car seat, or brushing teeth—actually

helps children feel safe and secure. (Credit: G-stockstudio / Shutterstock.com)

Justin, aged 16 months, is having a great time with his father’s cell phone. He presses buttons and

makes all kinds of pictures come up on the screen. When his father sees what Justin is doing, he

grabs the phone out of his hand and says, “No way, buddy. This is not for kids.” Justin shouts

back: “I want dat!” as he kicks his father with gusto. When his dad picks him up to calm him down,

Justin kicks again with both feet.

Aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, etc.) usually peaks around age two, a time when toddlers have

very strong feelings but are not yet able to use language effectively to express themselves.

Toddlers also don’t have the self-control to stop themselves from acting on their feelings. They

are just beginning to develop empathy—the ability to understand how others feel. So, they

cannot yet say, Mommy, I am mad that Zachary grabbed my favorite doll. But I know he just

wants to play with me. So how about I offer him a different doll to play with? Instead, your

toddler may bop Zachary on the head with a toy truck.

From 24 to 36 Months

Bella, aged 30 months, is having a hard time saying goodbye to her mom at child care. As her

mother starts to leave, Bella reaches out for her, sobbing, “Don’t go, Mommy!” Chandra, Bella’s

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friend, comes over to try and comfort Bella. Bella surprises her by roughly pushing her arm away

and running to her cubby. Bella sits curled up under her coat hook, crying. When Talisa, one of

the teachers, approaches Bella to see if she wants to read a story, Bella hits her. Talisa remains

calm, holds Bella close, and tells her she knows Bella is sad that her mommy left and that it’s okay

to be sad, but hitting is not okay. She then helps Bella get involved in an activity with her friends.

Aggressive acts, such as punching a parent, often emerge when toddlers are overwhelmed by a

distressing situation or by difficult feelings like anger or jealousy. These moments can be

extremely challenging for parents because they are hurtful. Parents often expect that as their

older toddles become more and more verbal and advanced in their thinking skills, they are

capable of more self-control than they really are. This stage of development can be very

confusing because while your 2 ½-year-old may be able to tell you what the rule is, she still does

not have the impulse control to stop herself from doing something she desires. At this age,

emotions still trump thinking skills almost every time.

The bottom line is that when a toddler is aggressive, it is an important sign that he is out of

control and needs help to calm down before any teaching or learning can take place. Staying

calm yourself is the best response as it helps your child calm down more quickly. Read below for

ways to handle aggression in your young child.

How You Can Respond to Aggression in 3 Steps

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Aggressive acts, such as punching a parent, often emerge when toddlers are overwhelmed by a distressing situation or by difficult feelings like

anger or jealousy. (Credit: Aloha Hawaii / Shutterstock.com)

Step 1: Observe and Learn

Thinking through the following questions can help you see patterns and figure out what the

underlying reason for your child’s behavior might be. You can use this information to decide the

best way to respond.

What is going on in your child’s world?

Where is the behavior happening? Home? Childcare? Shopping mall? Grandma’s apartment?

Or is it happening in all/most of the settings your child is in?

If it is only happening in one setting, could there be something about that environment (i.e.,

too crowded, bright, overwhelming, etc.) that is triggering the behavior?

Is the behavior directed toward one specific person or a small group of people? Or is the

behavior directed, at times, to anyone in the child’s circle?

When does the behavior usually happen? For example, right before nap time, when your

child is tired? At times of transition, such as going from one activity to another? These kinds

of stressors are common triggers for aggressive behavior.

What happened right before your child’s challenging behavior? For example, had you just

announced it was time to stop playing and get in the car? Had another child just taken a toy

out of his hands?

Has there been a recent change in her world that is making your child feel upset, out of

control, sad, or perhaps less safe and secure overall? Events like switching rooms at child

care, moving homes, a new baby or the loss of a pet can make your child feel insecure and

therefore less able to control her impulses.

Other important factors to consider:

Developmental Stage: Is the behavior typical for your child’s age/stage? For example, some

hitting and biting is normal for toddlers, but biting multiple times during the week would be

more of a concern.

Child’s Temperament: Could the behavior be explained, in part, by your child’s way of

approaching the world? For example, a very intense, sensitive child may feel overwhelmed in

settings where there is a lot of stimulation, such as free playtime at child care. He may bite as

a way to cope—perhaps to keep people at a distance to protect himself. A slow-to-warm-up

child may hit a parent when left with a new babysitter. Fear often gets expressed as anger in

young children (not to mention many adults.)

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Your Own Temperament and Life Experiences: Is this behavior particularly difficult for you? If

so, why? Sometimes a parent’s own past experience—for example, having had parents with

very strict rules about how to behave at a restaurant—influences her reactions to her child’s

behavior. She might have a short “fuse” when dealing with her own squirmy child at the

diner. Being aware of these kinds of connections helps you look at and respond to your

child’s behavior more effectively, and in ways that are based on her age, stage of

development, and temperament.

What’s Going On With You?

How do you handle your own feelings when your child acts out aggressively? Are you able to

calm yourself before you respond?

How effective do you feel you are in helping your child to manage his aggressive feelings?

What works? What doesn’t work? Why? What do you feel your child is learning from the way

you respond when he is aggressive?

Step 2: Respond to your child based on your best understanding of the behavior.

How to Head Off Aggressive Behavior

Think prevention. Use what you know about your child to plan ahead. For example, if you

know that she feels very shy when meeting new people, you may want to start flipping

through the family photo album during the weeks before you attend a big family picnic so

she can start to recognize extended family members. During playtime, you might have a

pretend picnic with her Aunt Laila and Uncle Bert. You may want to pack your daughter’s

“lovey” as well as a few of her favorite books to bring along. When you get to the event, help

your relatives connect with your daughter by suggesting that they don’t rush in for a big hug,

but wait for her to warm up first. Using these strategies is not “giving in” to your child. You

are helping her manage what, for her, is a very challenging situation. This helps her learn how

to cope when she encounters new people in a new setting, such as school.

Give advanced notice of an upcoming change. “We will read one more book and then it’s

time to get in the car to go home. Which book do you want to read?” (Giving choices can

help children feel more in control and reduce aggression.)

Help your child understand her feelings and behavior. This self-awareness helps him learn to

manage his feelings in positive ways. For example, you might say to an older toddler who has

a difficult time moving between activities: “It’s hard for you to stop playing to get in the car

to go to childcare. Why don’t you pick out a favorite book to read on the way? Or we can

play ‘I spy’ while we drive. Which do you want to do?” Over time this helps your child learn

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strategies to cope with situations that are challenging for him. With younger children, put

words to their feelings and then redirect them. “You are mad daddy turned off the TV. But

look at this cool ball and how it bounces.”

Strategies for Responding to Aggression

As you review the strategies described below, keep in mind that their effectiveness may vary

based on both the age and stage of development of your child and on his or her temperament.

They are not offered as prescriptions, but ideas that can be adapted to meet the needs of your

individual child and family.

Stay calm. This is the essential first step. Try taking some deep breaths. You can even take

your own “time out” for a minute or two to calm yourself. Staying in control makes it more

likely that your child will calm down more quickly. When you get agitated, upset, and

frustrated at your child’s tantrum, it often increases her distress. She needs you to be her

rock when she is “losing it.”

Recognize your child’s feeling or goal. Let your child know that you understand what he

wants to do: You want to play with the water, but you cannot spill the water from your sippy

cup on the floor. Or, You are really angry. You want to stay longer at the playground, but it is

not okay to hit mommy. Hitting hurts.

Use words and gestures to communicate your message. Words alone may not be enough to

get your toddler to stop an unacceptable activity. To help your child understand your

message, use an authoritative, matter-of-fact (not angry or screaming) voice. At the same

time, use a “stop” or “no-no” gesture along with your words. You might say, No hitting,

hitting hurts, as you take her hand and hold it by her side, firmly but not angrily. Keep in

mind, it takes many, many repetitions, hearing the words together with the actions, before

the words alone are enough.

Offer alternatives. Tell and show your child acceptable ways to reach his goal or channel his

energy. If you interrupt your child’s behavior, but do not offer an acceptable alternative, the

unacceptable behavior is more likely to continue. So for a little one who loves to dump his

sippy cup and play with his drink, take him outside or put him in the bath where he can

happily play with liquids. For a child who loves to hurl objects, make a game out of throwing

soft balls into a basket or box.

Try a distraction. If your child is highly agitated, try a distraction. This is an unpredictable

response your child isn’t expecting, like asking a child who is shouting angrily to join you in a

game. Or just go to her and give her a big bear hug.

Suggest ways to manage strong emotions. When your child is really angry, suggest that he

jump up and down, hit the sofa cushions, rip paper, cuddle up in a cozy area for alone time,

paint an angry picture, or some other strategy that you feel is appropriate. What’s important

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is to teach your child that there are many ways to express his feelings in healthy, non-hurtful

ways, and to help him practice these strategies regularly.

Have your child take a break. Some children actually calm down much more quickly when

given the chance to be by themselves in a safe, quiet place. This is not punishment. It is an

important strategy to help children learn to soothe themselves and regain control—a critical

life skill. Think of and call this safe, quiet space as a kind of “cozy corner”. It might have some

pillows, stuffed animals, books and small, safe toys. Have your child help design it with you.

The more she feels she has a role in it, the more likely she will accept using it. When your

child does pull herself together, it is very important that you acknowledge this big step by

telling her what a good job she did calming herself down.

Step 3: Help your older toddler (2 ½ to 3 years), who is beginning to understand logic and rational thinking, learn from his actions.

Help your older toddler, who is beginning to understand logic and rational thinking, learn from

his actions.

Point out the consequences of your child’s behavior: After you hit Carrie, she started to cry.

It hurt. She felt sad and mad. She didn’t want to play with you anymore and that made you

sad too.

Brainstorm better choice(s) your child could make next time. If Carrie takes the doll you’re

playing with, what are some things you could do besides hit? If your child doesn’t have any

ideas (this is very normal), you can suggest some strategies such as helping her use her

words: “That is my doll. Please give it back,” and then offering Carrie another doll.

Remind your child that she can always come to you for help.

Once you offer a few ideas, he might be better able to think of some on his own. The ability

to substitute an acceptable action for one that is not acceptable is a crucial part of

developing self-control. It is also an important skill for functioning well in school and

throughout life. Also keep in mind that the best timing for this brainstorming process may

vary for different children. Some may benefit from thinking the problem through right after

the incident, whereas others need more time to cool off and will be more open to this

process at a later time.

Minimizing Misbehavior

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Give your child lots of positive feedback when she shows self-control. It is important to help children experience and understand the natural

benefits of good behavior. (Credit: StockLite / Shutterstock.com)

Ways to Minimize Misbehavior

1. Be consistent.

Consistency with rules is key to helping children learn to make good choices. If every time a child

throws a toy it gets taken away for a few minutes, he learns not to throw toys. But when the rules

keep changing, it makes it hard for young children to make good choices. If one day a tantrum

doesn’t result in getting to stay longer at the park, but the next day her protests get her four more

trips down the slide, your child will be confused about what choice to make, “Well, making a fuss

worked the other day so maybe I should try that again.”

2. Avoid negotiation.

This is tough. We want to make sure our children feel heard. We want them to see us as open-

minded, good listeners. We want to be flexible. But negotiating about family rules is a slippery

slope. A child who can negotiate for extra cookies or a later bedtime will quickly learn that this is

a very effective way to get these “fringe benefits.” Soon you will find yourself negotiating

everything. Having consistent rules—about things like holding hands in a parking lot, sitting in a

car seat, or brushing teeth—actually helps children feel safe and secure. They come to

understand that there is structure, logic, and consistency in their world.

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3. Give your child a chance to problem-solve before stepping in. Whether it is finding the right

place for the puzzle piece she is holding, or negotiating with a friend about who gets to swing on

the swing first, let your child try to figure out a solution first, before you step in to help. (When he

does come to you to solve the problem, you might help him along by making suggestions: Blocks

can be so frustrating! How about trying to put more blocks on the bottom so that your tower

doesn’t fall down?) You may be surprised to see how capable he is at managing conflict and

dealing with the challenges he faces.

4. Give your child lots of positive feedback when she shows self-control.

Children want to please. When you respond positively to their behavior, you reinforce that

behavior and also build their self-esteem. You stomped your feet when you were mad rather than

hitting. Great job! Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to be well-behaved.

It is important to help children experience and understand the natural benefits of good behavior.

For ex

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